[NSFW] What’s it like to have those parts?

Dear Reader,

I recently happened across a post on Reddit where a Redditor asked some questions to people who have had Gender Confirming Vaginoplasty (as I have). And while the Redditor was self-conscious of the questions she was asking, I found that many of her questions were ones I’d had before I’d had my surgery. As I was writing my answers to her questions, I realized that this might be of interest to you as well, so I’m posting my response below.

Please be aware that the answers may get a bit graphic or feel like “Too Much Information”, so do what you need to do to take care of yourself. Feel free to skip this post if it might be too much for you.


What does it feel like to have a vagina once it’s healed?

I realize this will be an unsatisfying answer, and I’m not trying to be funny, but it feels like having a vulva and vagina. It’s different. Really different. I spent a lot of time before surgery trying to imagine what it would be like, and I wasn’t even close.

Physically, it feels kinda… normal. It feels like that’s what I’ve always supposed to have had. Clothes fit me better, and I don’t feel like I have to hide or camouflage what’s going on down there – that’s a huge mental relief!

I can cross my legs more tightly than I was able to before (and I thought I was crossing them really tight before – I wasn’t even close). When I get dressed, if I’m wearing shorts or jeans with a zip-up fly, I don’t have to be aware of stuff and make sure it doesn’t get caught. The clothing lays right on top of my body smoothly.

This might be getting a bit more graphic, but I’ve found that I used to think of the old parts as dirty – if I had to touch them, I’d feel the need to wash my hands. Now, I find my parts, well maybe not clean, but tidy. I find myself going commando, both to sleep and with certain outfits, and it’s comfortable and refreshing (she needs to breathe!). Before, I could never do that because it was never comfortable (the parts required support or they’d get into painful positions) and it just felt, well, awful!

I know it’s made out of existing tissue, so does it feel like nothing has changed?

For me, it doesn’t feel the same as before. Yes, the tissue is relocated and repurposed, but I don’t perceive the sensations I feel as coming from anything relating to the old parts. The one exception to this is that I’ll occasionally have the sensation of my balls itching (more specifically, scrotum) – it actually strikes me as funny when it happens because 1, I don’t have any balls, and 2, I have no clue where to scratch. Thankfully those sensations are relatively rare and pass quickly.

But I don’t have a sensation analogous to touching the shaft of my penis when touching my labia (much of the penile skin ends up outside the vagina, as the labia) , nor my scrotum being touched when penetrated (scrotal skin is used to augment the vaginal canal). If someone is touching my labia, I perceive it as my labia being touched, and so on. For me, this switch happened pretty much instantly – I woke up from surgery and everything down there was totally numb, but my brain still had the wiring already figured out – it had remapped the parts so as the numbness wore off, I knew which sensation came from which (new) part.

Does it feel like it’s inside of you

Under normal circumstances, no. I don’t perceive my vagina as a foreign thing which is inside of me. It is a part of me which is exactly where it belongs. I guess one way to think of it is “do you feel your tongue is inside of you?” My guess is that while you know it’s inside your body, you also don’t perceive it that way. It’s where it’s supposed to be, taking up the space it’s supposed to take up — everything is as it should be. It’s the same for my vagina. The vulva is the surface, so it’s neither inside nor outside.

Does it feel like anything when you are arroused?

Absolutely! I feel all sorts of things! But not many of those sensations are like what I’d felt like when I was aroused with the old parts.

My vulva will become engorged when I get aroused. That is probably the one sensation closest to what I’d felt before. It feels warm, full, and vaguely “hard” (not the right word, but I’m trying to relate it to what it felt like with old parts).

My clitoris will also become engorged. It doesn’t feel like when my penis got hard, but it’s similar in that it becomes more sensitive and receptive to touch.

I’ve had the experience of getting wet – it doesn’t happen often, but is very pleasant when it happens. The best way I can think to describe it is that I feel kinda squishy. There’s nothing comparable with the old parts. FYI, I do self-lubricate, but not enough for penetrative sexual intercourse — I need additional lube for that.

Inside my vaginal canal, I have sensation, but it tends to be sensation of pressure more than anything else. I’ve found vaginal penetration to be very pleasant, but I need clitoral stimulation to get me there.

A few more things which you might not have asked, but might find useful:

  • I found that the way I walk and carry my body changed after surgery. My pelvic tilt became more pronounced.
  • I find that I’m much more careful about keeping my legs closed when out in public now. I’m not exactly sure why this changed, as I was already careful before.
  • Swimming is utterly amazing! I can wear bikini bottoms, and the sensation of being in the water without some weird dangly bit flopping around is exquisite!
  • Now that I’m fully healed, I’m amazed at how much more durable and robust vulvas are. Penises and scrotums are so fragile!!! It’s so ironic that being called a “pussy” is one of the worst insults boys and men have for each other, and is used to mean something that’s weak and/or fragile. Pussies are anything but!!!
  • Peeing: you use the same muscles, and the stimuli (bladder, muscle control, etc) are the same. The urine can come out in a stream kinda similar to before (more like a gush than a stream), or it can go pretty much any direction. It can be messy; you figure out how to position your body for the best chance of keeping it from going everywhere, and sometimes it still goes everywhere – you clean yourself up and go on. That’s just how it works with lots of women (cis and trans).
  • Panties are lots more fun now! I can wear any style without being concerned with support, tucking/hiding, etc. My preferences have definitely changed now that I have the freedom. Going commando is a viable option – and really nice!
  • Pussy hugs!!! I love pussy hugs! Just cup my vulva with the heel of the palm on my pubic mound and fingers curved down and hugging my clitoris and labia! So warm, so secure, so comfortable!!!

Finally, remember that vulvas come in all shapes, sizes, colors, forms, etc. After my surgery, I was concerned that mine might not be like others, even though I knew that they came in all forms. They really do though, and what you end up with will very likely be well within the typical range of variations.

If I’ve left anything out or you have more questions, feel free to ask.

2 thoughts on “[NSFW] What’s it like to have those parts?

Add yours

  1. I can’t get metoidioplasty, and from what I’ve seen phalloplasty would be nothing like a congenital penis. It confuses my coworkers that I won’t get bottom surgery, and that I’m perfectly comfortable being a man with a vagina.

    There’s absolutely one advantage I have they don’t. If I run into something or some thing hits me *there*, it doesn’t hurt anywhere as it does my male colleagues. (I work in a factory, so we have plenty of machine and conveyor systems at groin height, so…yea. 😂)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s a great advantage! I love it!

      There are so many trans people who don’t pursue bottom surgery, for a variety of reasons. All of those are totally valid, and not having those surgeries do not make those people any less of the genders they are. I wish there was more understanding and affirmation of that, especially from cisgender people. We are not our body parts, and when someone asks us about whether we’ve had surgery, they are really asking us what our genitals look like – hardly a polite thing to inquire about!

      There are advantages to being a woman with a penis, too. One of the best was that peeing while wearing a skirt or a dress was extremely convenient! But for me, all those advantages weren’t worth it – I’m so much more comfortable in my own body now that my parts down below are what they should have been all along.

      Like

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