Q: Do trans people realize that they are just throwing away a gift from nature?

Content Warning: As originally asked, the question reveals some insensitive, and really, horrible prejudice against people who are intersex. I address this in my answer, but if you are sensitive to these kinds of negativity, you might want to skip this question.

Do trans people realize that they are just throwing away a gift from nature?

[Question as originally asked:]

Why don’t people who become transgender realize that they are very lucky when there are people born intersex? They are born healthy but look at intersex people. Do trans people realize that they are just throwing away a gift from nature?

Do you realize just how condescending this question is?

First, being intersex doesn’t make a person unhealthy. Being intersex is a naturally-occurring variation in nature, and there’s nothing inherently bad or unhealthy about it. It just is.

To contrast transgender people with intersex by essentially saying “aren’t you lucky to not be that?!” is so effing rude. You owe people who happen to be intersex a humongous apology — do it, right now!

While you’re apologizing, make sure to apologize to people who happen to be transgender. Being transgender is just another naturally-occurring variation in nature, and again, there’s nothing inherently bad or unhealthy about it. It just is.

And people don’t become transgender – it’s how we are born.

Now, when you say “Do trans people realize that they are throwing away a gift from nature?”, do you realize that what you’re basically saying is “you can choose to not be transgender”. What’s more, you’re also saying “it’s better to be not transgender” (as well as being not intersex). This is cisgender-normative bullshit. Your privilege is showing.

Being transgender has been one of the most challenging and painful things in my life. But do you know why? Because of cisgender people’s attitude that being transgender is bad and somehow means I am broken. I’ve been hurt most by cisgender people trying to make me conform to their expectations of what my gender should be, which is based upon a doctor’s cursory examination of my genitalia when I was born. Do you understand what I’m saying? Cisgender people expect everyone to look and behave certain ways because of how they perceive other people’s genital configuration! How ridiculous!

As difficult as it has been to figure out that I’m transgender (cisgender people didn’t make that very easy), accept that about myself (which included overcoming the cis-normative attitudes I’d been indoctrinated with my whole life), and then make the changes necessary for me to live authentically in my gender, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Here’s a secret that many cisgender people don’t understand: it’s pretty amazing to be transgender.

Yeah, it’s true. It’s one of the most meaningful experiences I’ve ever had. I have such a unique perspective on humanity and human behavior – one which cisgender people will never understand. I know what it’s like to be seen as both a man and as a woman in our society. How many cisgender people can know that?

And here’s one of the most awesome things about my journey as a transgender person: I got to completely reinvent myself. Everything – from the ground up. I got to look at every aspect of myself, from my likes and interests, to my personal style, and from my behaviors and responses to how I relate and interact with every other person I come into contact with. And I get to choose – I get to decide if I want to be someone who shakes hands with new acquaintances or if I want to be a hugger. I get to decide if I want to be the kind of person who laughs quietly or loud and boisterously. I get to decide if I want to be silent and stoic, or weep openly when emotions move me. And I get to keep making these decisions for the rest of my life! I’ve discovered the secret that gender roles and expectations are all bullshit and are made to try to make us all fit into boxes which none of us really truly fit into. And here’s another secret: (to paraphrase from The Matrix) “what if I told you there was no box?” (you do know The Matrix, that movie which gave us the red pill/blue pill metaphor, was written by two trans women, and has strong transgender themes throughout the movie)

Being cisgender doesn’t make a person any better than being transgender. Both are natural occurrences, and both are valid way of being. And by being transgender, a person isn’t throwing away a gift from nature, they are embracing that gift!