Genderfluid – is it real?

There’s a lot of debate right now about the notion that a person can be genderfluid.  Many take the opinion that it’s made up – that people who identify as genderfluid are just trying to be “special snowflakes”.  My experience is that it is quite real, and I am by no means a “special snowflake”.

Every day I wake up with the potential for my gender to be masculine or feminine. I don’t have any control over which, yet (though I’m trying).  Just like Schrodinger’s cat was presumed to be both alive and dead until the box was opened and the cat was observed, you can presume me as both male and female until I wake up and observe my gender identity.  And here’s the magical part: sometimes I’m still both male and female after I wake up!

To try to give others a peek into this strange world of genderfluidity, I’ve created this blog. Please feel free to ask genuine questions or add your own experiences.  I want to educate and maybe even entertain, but I will not tolerate trolls.  And no concern trolling, either.

I’m not out to anyone except my spouse, so I will be keeping identifying information off this blog. Names will be anonymized and information that could be used to identify me or anyone I mention will be similarly sanitized.

8 thoughts on “Genderfluid – is it real?

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  1. I am Genderfluid and my perants say it changes my personality but I’m still the same person just that I am not always a girl most times I feel like boy but then there are periods where I just want to be a girl and some times like non of both and then both

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    1. Thank you for sharing. I’m still figuring out how my gender interacts with my personality. I don’t think that I’m a different person now that I’m transitioning, but I can’t deny that some aspects of my personality have changed. I’m much more able to overcome my introversion to meet new people, I’m more likely to stand up for myself and what I need, and I’ve largely given up on many of the masculine behaviors I’d maintained as a way to “prove” that I was a man. But the core – most important – traits and parts of my personality are still there.

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  2. I’m gender fluid but my dad disagrees he says I was born female and I’ll always be a female. It sort of hurts, do your parents disagree with you being gender fluid? I wanna know if there is people like me

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    1. I arrived at that conclusion after a lot of online research. At the time, what I was experiencing was that my feelings of being a woman would ebb and flow, and I found being a man more tolerable during the ebb periods. So I searched for experiences similar to that – sometimes a man, sometimes a woman – and found a variety of terms which might fit: gender flux, gender fuck, and gender fluid. After more research into each term, gender fluid felt the closest to my experience.

      Since you’ve already found the term, I’d recommend working with a good gender therapist to explore what you’re feeling. It isn’t to try to change your label, but to explore it and find all the nuances which can help you to live more authentically; because in the end, that’s really the goal – to live authentically.

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