Enough

I wasn’t strong enough
I wasn’t smart enough
I wasn’t man enough
I wasn’t successful enough
I wasn’t good enough

I thought that strength meant the ability to exert your will and make things happen regardless of any resistance you encountered.

I thought that smart meant that I would know everything I need to know, when I need to know it.

I thought that being a man meant being in charge, being in control, providing and not consuming, not feeling, not hurting, not weak.

I thought that success meant having everything be perfect – everything in its place, everything squared away, all needs met and most of the wants met, too.

I thought that good meant the absence of bad, that it meant the absence of pain, that it meant the absence of struggle.

I thought that I could be all of these things, and that if I could do that, that I would be enough.

I wasn’t strong enough
I wasn’t smart enough
I wasn’t man enough
I wasn’t successful enough
I wasn’t good enough
I wasn’t enough.

Enough.

Enough.

Enough is enough!

True strength is not the ability to make things follow your will, but rather the ability to withstand the times that things do not follow your will. It is not the tree which stands tall and unmoving in a hurricane which is strong, but the tree that is whipped violently back and forth yet never gives up its hold on the ground; yielding to the wind but refusing to give up, refusing to be beaten down.

Smart is not encyclopedic knowledge, but the ability to think and to allow your knowledge to grow – not according to your expectations, but following the thread of truth which weaves through the world, and unlocking the secrets which really aren’t secret and really aren’t locked, but have been sitting out in the open, waiting to be discovered, waiting to be seen.

Being a man is not dictated by what is between your legs, but by what is between your ears, and that while there are many good men who are in charge, in control, good providers, stoically masculine and physically strong, there are even greater men who gracefully accept others being in control, accept help that is offered, are sensitive to their own feelings and emotions as well as those of others, allow themselves to be vulnerable, and admit when they are weak. And while it is a noble and worthy thing to be a man, it is just as noble and worthy to be a woman – perhaps even more so when you were assigned the role of man when you were born.

Success is not perfection, but is the ability to accept and embrace imperfection, and to still reach your goals.

Good cannot exist without the bad – it is by experiencing the bad that we recognize the good. Being good means understanding that you have faults, that you can be bad, but that those faults do not have to define you – you can overcome them. Being good doesn’t mean that you won’t feel pain, but that you do not run away from unavoidable pain. Being good means being in the struggle, and helping others who are also struggling.

I am strong enough because I have survived.

I am smart enough because I have found my truth

I am woman enough because I am a woman and all women are enough!

I am successful enough because I finally found and embraced my imperfections, and I will achieve my goals.

I am good enough because I have stopped running away from my pain but now stand and face it, and I care about the people around me – those that I love, those that I’ve just met, those that I may never meet but whose lives still matter regardless – and I am working to make the world a better place for all of us.

I could never have been all those things I used to think; I can be all of these new things, but even if I’m not, it’s ok.

I always was, and I always will be, and I am…

Enough.

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